OK, I spent $5.50 at WalMart and got this God forsaken DVD. Now that I have it I've decided the earlier VHS release was most likely the source for this DVD.
I'm at least positive they did all their editing in video for the "uncut" scenes.
If I reach any satisfactory, non-comical conclusions I'll let you know. Though, at this moment, I'm not sure there is a solution for this source that doesn't involve flame and 9mm bullets.