You should have mentioned from the start that you're trying to re-encode a DVD movie. This presents o number of new problems and solutions. For one thing, standard SVCD is not a best choice if you want to preserve video quality since standard horizontal resolution for DVD is 720 pixels while for SVCD it's 480. Next, DVD audio sampling rate is 48kHz and for SVCD it's 44.1kHz - that's probably the reason why your audio is getting out of sync.
Audio sync certainly has nothing to do with aspect ratio. I'm not sure if it's possible to create a 16:9 SVCD, maybe someone else could comment on it. I know though that the aspect ratio flag is stored within MPEG video stream, so perhaps some players would play it properly.
So I suggest you go the XSVCD way or better yet store your stuff just as MPEG files. Keep the original video resolution and audio track. You don't really save much space by re-encoding the audio unless it was in PCM format, which is unlikely nowadays. The only thing you'll have to do is multiplex and cut the MPEG file into CD-sized chunks. If you're planning to buy a player, choose the one that can play discs in file mode. This way you could save yourself a lot of time, and if you ever buy a DVD-burner, it would be easy to convert the movie back to a standard DVD video.
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