OMG! That worked Mean, thankyou thankyou thankyou!!!
I had pressed it before but no menu popped up and so I had just thought I shouldn't have pressed it
Now I know!
The resulting m2v is great, it plays nicely and I am able to mux it (with Peter Cheats mplex 2) with NO errors, the bit-rate is within the limits I set and Gspot identifies it and with the correct DAR 4:3 !! Everything is fine now thanks to you Mean after I had tried so many things. You are wonderful, thanks again